Hi fans (tongue in cheek)!
This isn’t in fact my first effort at blogging. Earlier today, I had published a quite brilliant, educational, witty and if I may say so myself, awe-inspiring piece of poetic grandeur, which the critics themselves had labelled in such glowing terms as ‘work of art’, ‘ground-breaking’ and ‘gob-smacking’.
Alas, you’ll just have to take my word for it as the aforementioned ‘oeuvre’ has vanished forever, cruelly snatched away during its formative hours by an cold, rational and seemingly unforgiving piece of software.
To put it in layman’s terms, I managed to delete the bloody thing.
Erm, seeing the same entry twice on the published list, I presumed I had duplicated my opening masterpiece of humour and profound intelligence, selected to delete one of them and lost them in one fell swoop.
Did you follow that? No, neither did I but it went something along those lines. You live and learn I suppose. However, now I’ll have to go through all the rigmarole of introducing myself all over again.
Now that wouldn’t bother a schizophrenic, but myself and I are exactly the same so it’s a little repetitive for us.
What am I doing here and why am I writing this?
Twas a chance happening, a combination of word of mouth and slight of hand, a nod, a wink and clickety-clack. Although in truth, I was ‘inspired’ by a colleague who’s just started blogging too. Plus I suspect that many of us quite fancy ourselves as a bit of a writer or just like to see our efforts in print.
My teachers in primary school were usually fairly impressed with my poems and stories; starting young is definitely key and I wasted no time, the advent of genius was upon the world and my early career in literature produced such gems and hints of greatness that my teachers would often stick them on the wall in testament to my gifted prowess with the pen.
In truth, we used pencils and looking back, perhaps a bunch of schoolkids’ doodlings and ramblings provide a more colourful backdrop to the classroom than peeling brown paint.
After my graduation from Leven Primary School, I took a long sabbatical from writing until…….. until now. To be honest, the going was tough and the pressure on a young artist to contribute to the nation’s literary treasure trove was immense. Even back then, we had to do the odd spot of homework.
I think it was the pursuit of prizes that spurred me on to success galore, what a heroic day it was when Mrs Maynell handed out gold stars and smiley faces to those who managed to complete their poems without a spelling mistake. You may laugh, but back then we didn’t have the benefit of spell check – we only had mums.
Now, my choice of pseudonym is a teaser indeed. Anyone who claims to know the cryptic significance of ‘tigercity’, please pop your guess on the back of a postcard and address it to BBC Childrens’ TV, London W12 8QT. I still remember that postcode! amazing…(British readers will get that one)
Only kidding, I’ll spill the beans here and now… as you know a tiger is an endangered, large furry cat with big teeth… or it’s my nephew’s favourite animal, or it relates to a certain world-renowned golfer of amazing abilities…. or it relates to a certain football club in Hull with magical properties.
That gives me a broad sweeping mandate to preach to the masses on a plethora of issues concerning the environment, education and sport. Although, in truth, I don’t profess to know too much about tigers, but what I don’t know about teaching, golf and football isn’t worth knowing…
Another fascinating insight into moi is that I’m tri-lingual. In order to prove this I shall be posting future articles in French and Turkish too. If you’re not so hot in these languages, then all you need to do, is copy/paste the text into a free-translation site (usually fairly cheap) and Bob’s your uncle, except in my case, as it’s Brian.
Well, if all that hasn’t whet your appetite then I don’t know what will. Be prepared to be chaperoned on a journey of delightful adventure, wit and exceedingly good taste, where words and prose, quotes and academic wisdom shall ignite the senses and engage the mind to embark upon the search for the elusive holy grail of knowledge.
And hence Ladies and Gentleman, I give you my blog…. (either that or I’m just having a bubble)